I am in a cycle that certain people are going through after the presidential election. It’s a classic case of grief, refusal, some level of acceptance, and hopefully renewal. I don’t know if just avoidance and escape are part of the model, but they certainly are for me.

My reaction? The morning news was part of my breakfast ritual. It’s not anymore. I used to read the anti-Trump stuff , but no longer. Now I’m trying to divert myself and escape to another world that I can handle better, since I cannot change Trump’s victory and future actions.

So, I’m nurturing my previous addiction to Korean and Chinese rom-coms and romantic dramas. By the way, this deep dive has prompted my husband to say that he’s thinking about an intervention. I admit that this has become more than a minor hobby.

All of the ones I invest in have a happy ending, a little like the Hallmark Channel franchise, but way better. Most are between 15 and 40 episodes — plenty of time for character development, multiple silos of stories, and enough suspense to make you doubt things will all end up OK.

This is a world of beautiful (and I mean gorgeous) men and women and very interesting cultures. I have learned (at least from TV) about the problems of hierarchy in sports (Run On); about the seductiveness of men who have few words so that when they open up to a woman, it is true love (Business Proposal, Nevertheless, Crash Landing on You); and of a general reverence for one’s elders. It also seems that moms can be tigers and women can be scheming CEOs, but also very honorable and smart on their way up (King, The Land); and that many romantic themes involve men and women of different classes and ages falling in love, even though it is heavily frowned upon by parents and other family.

These stories now fi ll my closing thoughts at bedtime, and sometimes my opening ones the next morning. Fantasy creatures fall in love (My Demon, Doom at Your Service) and any touch or kiss — or accidentally falling into each other’s arms — is generally the beginning of something that will end in commitment and deeply felt love. Now, this fascination of mine might be a bit extreme because I study love and relationships professionally, but I have found that I am not alone in my addiction. And I am certainly not alone in my desire to escape the reality that is about to be a major force in national and international policy and practice. I know that at some point I must face the music that will play for the next four years and become more active in response. But sometimes diving into a world about beauty, love, surmounting challenges and personal growth is not a bad place to hide out.

Whenever I bring a new girlfriend home, or even when my father visits me and I have a female friend there, he always hits on them. Now, I am 24 and my father is 57, so it is not only awkward, but also ridiculous. Most of the women laugh it off or are flattered, but my present girlfriend is off ended, and I don’t blame her. Give me some answers here please.

A: Perhaps your father is only half serious and is just showing how charming he is — or more correctly, how charming he thinks he is — but regardless, it isn’t pretty. I have actually seen this kind of father-son competition more than a few times, so you are not alone. It’s especially common with older men who are good looking, important, or wealthy or for some reason have had women show them deference even when their flirtatiousness is unwelcome.

If you have never said anything to him before there must be a reason. Maybe he takes offense easily and could be furious with you. Or perhaps he is getting flattered by the banter he starts, and you feel some women do find him charming. Or maybe it’s because you are so angry that you control your remarks for fear of causing a conflagration and subsequent rupture of your relationship. All of these may have some basis, and I understand your hesitation. Nonetheless, you have every right to draw a line. Say something like, “Even though you may not see this the way I do, I want you to stop flirting with women I am with. I have had complaints. Even though some feel you mean well and are harmless, I feel like you are pushing me aside in a way that is inappropriate. I would not try and charm any girlfriends of my close friends, and I want you to stop showering them with attention in the future.”

If this sounds like it would start denials or a fight, then I offer another approach. Warn your girlfriend about your dad and ask her to politely withdraw. She can excuse herself to go to the bathroom, or turn away from him and just start telling him how wonderful you are. If that doesn’t work, she can tell him he reminds her of her beloved grandfather! You get the picture.

If worse comes to worst, just make sure you never bring your girlfriend over, and don’t make plans to see your dad when a girlfriend is there. When you get serious about someone, however, you will probably have to have an honest discussion with him. I knew of a situation like this with a friend whose father was a movie star in his mid-70s who repeatedly started affairs with her close friends. She stopped introducing them and kept her life away from him.

I am dating someone I am very much in love with. I have told him I love him, but he does not say it back. This hurts, and I have asked him why he can’t respond. He says that he does not want to do that when it is expected, and when the time is right, he will tell me he loves me. We have been together a year. Am I being too pushy? By saying I love him, have I already screwed this up?

A: Who says “I love you” first is not always a delicate dance. Sometimes people are enthralled at the same time. There are increasingly words that approximate saying “I love you” without actually saying it. One example: “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” Another example: “I could see spending my life with you.” It could be nonverbal, such as deep, longing looks that are warm and promising. Still, importantly, that is not “I love you,” however close it may be. And even more unsettling, your person could actually say the words but later regret it. So, yes, this can be a very unsettling time in a relationship.

What I would advise in your case is not to say “I love you” again unless he does. Once those words come out, the balance of attachment in a relationship may shift. If a person is ambivalent, or at least unsure, having someone raise the ante on the emotional stage of the relationship can push that person into deeper ambivalence and indecision. It is the original slippery slope.

On the other hand, I don’t think you have necessarily “screwed this up.” If he doesn’t love you (or sadly, if he is not going to love you), just putting your feelings in front of him really doesn’t matter. If he’s not there for you, or has concluded that he is not going to be in love with you, then better to know rather than fantasize feelings that don’t exist. You may not want to know the truth, but you do need to know.

But here’s the caution sign: It could actually be timing. I have known quite a few married couples where one person was way ahead of the other in terms of depth of feelings or readiness for commitment, but still, the other person did eventually come around. I have also known men and women who hesitated to say “I love you” back, because they wanted to wait for a time when it felt spontaneously authentic.

If you need to know if he loves you, you can put a time limit on it. If he hasn’t said it during that time, you can conclude that you have your answer. Or you can be direct and ask him to describe how he really does feel about you. If none of those approaches feel right, how about being more observant about whether his actions are those of someone in love or not? Does he call you as much as you call him? Does he say he misses you? Does he want to do nice things for you without being asked? Does he tell you how wonderful and  special you are? Does he brag about you? Does he talk about the future?

If all of the answers to these questions are no, I’d say he definitely doesn’t love you yet. And, quite honestly, he may never love you, in which case you probably should withdraw and find someone who does.