Call us old-fashioned, but we remember a time (circa 2007 or so) when a facial treatment had something to do with, well, the face. Given the glut of “facials” that venture as far south as the cheeks (yes, those cheeks), we’ll ditch the technicalities in favor of booking a few this-is-so-amazing-who-cares-what-they-call-it sessions.

Baby Bump Facial:
The Spa at SageCliffe
Moms-to-be: Baby your bump with spa director Angi Dooley’s personal creation, a pregnant-belly “facial” that fights stretch marks and hydrates dry skin. Using a combination of mango butter extract, shea butter and tamanu oil, Dooley covers your bump in a hydration mask (made with plant-derived Phyto-Firm Complex by Decleor). Next comes a massage with skin-firming lemongrass, and calming rose, chamomile, frankincense and myrrh oils. For second and third trimesters and post-baby. $75/30 minutes. Quincy, 348 Silica Road NW; 509.785.2036; sagecliffe.com/spa

Cheeky Clean Facial:
The Wax Bar
“Bottoms up” was never a more fitting expression: If your posterior needs a polish, book The Wax Bar’s fanny facial. Formulated to combat dry, lackluster skin (often the result of sitting on the job), the Cheeky Clean includes a deep cleanse, extraction and exfoliation, with an add-on waxing option ($24). If the entire region south of the border needs help, owner Karen Jahn still offers her Bikini Facial ($60), a great combatant for ingrown hairs. (Are your other cheeks beet red like ours?) $60/30 minutes. Two locations, including a new spot in West Seattle, 4462 37th Ave. SW; 206.935.4990; thewaxbarseattle.com

Purifying Back Treatment:
Salon Dewi
You may have noticed a slew of new “backcials” around town, but for more than eight years, Salon Dewi owner Travis “The Waxing Diva” Powell and his team have offered one of the best flipside facials. Using all-natural exfoliants papaya and pineapple and a purifying moor mud musk, the back facial is the answer to both dry skin and unsightly “backne.” Ask for Eri Higuchi, a seven-year Dewi veteran. $80/1 hour. Capitol Hill, 1525 14th Ave.; 206.381.3482; salondewi.com