Skip to content

Tales from a Juice Cleanse

I’m radiant! I’m full of energy! JK, I want a cheeseburger.

By Chelsea Lin January 11, 2017

juice-cleanse-pic-juicebox

Is there anything more disgustingly cliché than embarking on a juice cleanse in January? Well, if you saw the amount of butter I consumed over the holidays—an alarming quantity, even given the indulgences required by my job—you’d say it was justified.

So last week, I blocked three days out of my normal eating and drinking schedule to dedicate myself to Juicebox. I have never before done anything like this.

Worth noting: Juicebox isn’t the only option, whether you’re looking for a single post-workout green juice or enough for a full cleanse. At $200 for a three-day supply, it’s definitely not the cheapest (by comparison, the Juicy Café is $185, Pressed is on sale right now for $99 from $129, Jars Juice is $108), but I know the produce there is seasonal and organic and I figured if you’re gonna do this… go big? 

Anyway, I started this with a lot of expectations. I expected to feel hungry and headachy, followed by smugly virtuous and refreshed. The reality was something different. Six juices a day is a lot of liquid to put down. In fact, I didn’t make it through all six any of the days, probably due to my own poor planning—I didn’t take them with me when I was out running around. Still, at no point was I desperately hungry. I only had a minor headache once, though I was tired for days one and two.

Did I ever miss food, though. I found myself lusting after my Instagram account—admittedly full of food porn—like Sylvester eyes Tweety. In fact, it became evident about halfway through day one that I was going to have to give up social media completely to successfully complete this mission. The rest of my life couldn’t be put on hold. I was still scrambling eggs for my kids, writing about food for work, watching TV full of sugary cereal commercials (boy do I want some Cinnamon Toast Crunch now). 

The taste of the juice was… totally adequate. I’m not a fan of celery (I know) and was mildly disappointed that the two heartiest green juices had a pretty prominent celery flavor. Still, I made it a goal to get through those each day, since I figured green was the most vital to cleansing my system (I have no scientific reasoning to back this up). I really enjoyed the carrot, orange and turmeric juice, and saved that for each evening. I drank the almond milk with cocoa nibs, cinnamon and cayenne in the afternoon, assuming the protein would help pick me up in that 3 p.m. slump (again, no scientific proof).

At the end of this experiment, I didn’t feel blindingly radiant and joyous, which kind of bummed me out. I lost about 6 pounds, but I’m guessing they’ll be back as I start eating real food again. I think the most valuable thing I got out of it was a recalibration—I realized how little food I actually need to feel full, and that I don’t need such aggressive salty and sweet flavors to be satiated. We could all benefit from not being a slave to our impulses for a few days, right?

Would I do it again? I’d love to do a one-day cleanse more frequently—I think it’s a more reasonable undertaking for my schedule (not to mention cheaper) and a welcome resetting after a spate of gluttony. For now, I’m just real happy to be reacquainted with my morning coffee. 

Follow Us

5 Dishes to Try in March

5 Dishes to Try in March

Worker-owned restaurants and community-driven kitchens shaping Seattle’s food scene.

Those in the restaurant industry have always faced unspoken challenges. Their stories are often kept behind the fold. Today, we’re hearing more personal accounts of wage theft, abuse, harassment, and a mountain of trauma in an industry built to nourish, celebrate, and commemorate.  How does one server, one restaurant take on changing the industry when…

Palace Kitchen Celebrates 30 Years

Palace Kitchen Celebrates 30 Years

The Belltown staple still feeds the city after 10 p.m.

After the last tickets come off the rail, floor mats are hauled out to be hosed down, oven hoods are scrubbed, aprons come untied, and someone counts the drawer. It’s a familiar ritual in restaurant cities everywhere. When the shift ends, cooks and servers go looking for a drink and something to eat. For three…

Protein Without the Pressure

Protein Without the Pressure

In her new cookbook, Seattle author and dietitian Rachael DeVaux keeps healthy eating grounded in real life.

Rachael DeVaux is not afraid of beef. That might sound obvious, but in a wellness culture still haunted by plain chicken breast and low-fat everything, her enthusiasm for grass-fed ground beef feels almost radical. The Seattle-based New York Times bestselling author, personal trainer, and founder of Rachael’s Good Eats has built a following of more than 3.5…

Restaurant Roundup: Nordic Cuisine and a Brazilian Brick-and-Mortar

Restaurant Roundup: Nordic Cuisine and a Brazilian Brick-and-Mortar

Here’s what was served up recently in the Emerald City.

Monday nights are worth celebrating—you made it through the first day of the week, so why not treat yourself to a delicious meal? Unfortunately, but understandably, plenty of restaurants are closed. But at these spots, not only are the kitchens still serving, the quality doesn’t drop off post-weekend, providing a perfect opportunity for a surprise…