Love & Wisdom
Heartbeat: I Have My Escape. What’s Yours?
My post-election trauma has me seeking solace in anything but the news
I am in a cycle that certain people are going through after the presidential election. It’s a classic case of grief, refusal, some level of acceptance, and hopefully renewal. I don’t know if just avoidance and escape are part of the model, but they certainly are for me. My reaction? The morning news was part…
Grudge Detox: Purging Toxic Thoughts
Refocusing on the future rather than holding onto the past
I spent 20 years waiting for some sort of an apology from my stepfather. I was not entirely patient about this. For most of that time I was pretty furious, actually. And while I certainly wouldn’t characterize this as good or healthy, I don’t think it was entirely unjustified, either. My mom discovered he had…
Avoid These Common Conversation Crimes
When to talk, when to not, and what not to say to your partner
Because of my work with couples and relationships both as a researcher and an on-air relationship expert, I have observed many intimate conversations ranging from sweet and loving to harsh, nasty, and even vindictive. I have noticed when the best course would be just to listen, and when it’s time to respond. I am also…
Crossing Generational Streams
Teens create art, receive insightful life advice
Kids look toward the future. Older people often relive the past. Those two worlds collided in the best of ways recently when the Woodinville Teen Arts Alliance collaborated with residents from Fairwinds Brittany Park Retirement Home to create beautiful art inspired by residents’ lives. “Our conversations made me appreciate the value of human connection and…
The DEI Backlash: Staying the Course
DEI and merit are not contradictory
The backlash against diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives has gained momentum in recent months, fueled by political and cultural divisiveness. Some critics have linked DEI policies to high-profile incidents, such as the mid-air collision between an American Airlines passenger plane and a military helicopter near Washington, D.C., Jan. 29. However, there is no credible…
When Your Mind Makes a Promise That Your Body Can’t Fill
Aging is inevitable. We must accept it with grace and gratitude.
Denial is not always a bad thing. I practice it religiously, albeit selectively. I know my age is getting close to the beginning of my eighth decade, but I choose to see that as just the start of another one. I am also into denial about what my true hair color might be if I…
10 Ways to Actually Enjoy the Holidays
Because the season is better when it’s fun
The holidays are crazy, right? You’re caught up in a frantic race to make everything special— the perfect gifts, the perfect tree, the perfect cookies. Well, nothing has to be perfect. The holidays are actually better when they’re not. Here are 10 ways to lean into the mess, ditch the pressure, and enjoy the season….
Let’s Redefine ‘Retirement’
It must be more than just leisure and fun, or else we’ll slide downhill
Given my desire to avoid retirement, I was lucky that after I ended my 50-year tenure with the sociology department at the University of Washington, I was able to continue to be employed as a relationship expert on Married at First Sight, a reality television show on the Lifetime television network. It cushioned my transition from being a…
Honoring Quincy Jones, a Seattle Legend
The Garfield High alum changed the sound of jazz, R&B, soul, and more
Seattle lost a true legend with the passing of Quincy Jones on Nov. 3 at age 91. A Garfield High alum, Jones moved to Seattle at age 10 and went on to shape the sound of generations. He broke barriers in jazz, R&B, pop, and film scores, producing timeless hits for artists like Michael Jackson…
Climbing Rocks with Spikey Tools
Dry tooling is an increasingly popular and challenging adventure
Scratch, tap, squeak. The sound of my tools pierces the cold fall day, awakening a primal feeling within me. These tools aren’t meant for building a house, or crafting a sculpture, but for climbing on rock…
Bringing Light into Seattle’s Darker Days
Keep the gloom out and the coziness in
As the days get shorter and Seattle’s famous gray blanket settles in, it’s hard not to feel the urge to hibernate. The rain starts tapping at the windows, and staying inside in your comfiest clothes feels like the best option. But instead of letting the gloom win, what if we brought a little light into…
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