Dear Beacon Hill neighborhood,

How are you? Seems like ages since we’ve heard from you, and I’m starting to get concerned. I mean, even though you’re basically right next door, it’s as if we’re complete strangers. And we had such high hopes for a special friendship. After all, you’ve got such potential: You’re as cute as can be with those to-die-for panoramic views (and such affordable housing). You have your very own superslick Link light rail station and are just so friggin’ close to downtown! It seems a no-brainer that’d we’d be besties. But we’re not and I can’t for the life of me figure out why.

I know you’ve had your setbacks. I was saddened to hear about some recent losses. There was the foodie hat trick of Culinary Communion/Lunch Counter/The Swinery and—bitterest pill of all—being dumped by your significant other, Amazon. Such typical first-wife treatment. For years, you provided it with a wonderful home and helped it become the success it is today, only to be dumped for a younger, sexier South Lake Union. I know they started moving their things out last year. That’s gotta sting. Sorry!

Still, it’s not all bad news. Word is that you have a great new coffee spot, The Station, and vegetarian restaurant St. Dames, and that you’re expecting a new addition to the family in June, a hot new wood-fired pizzeria, Bar Del Corso. Mazel tov!

I just hope this marks a new beginning for you, and that you don’t ever give up on yourself. Look forward to hearing more soon.

All best,
Your wannabe pal, Seattle magazine